When you are part way along a roller coaster of emotional upheaval and things seem to be steadily going downhill you can find yourself reluctant to celebrate the small victories that pop up at unexpected moments. I see the positives in most things, I like to enjoy the moments when something good happens, but does that make the low moments lower?
I don’t think so. Low moments are not softened by refusing to celebrate the high moments, bad news is bad news and you can never truly prepare yourself for that. It doesn’t make receiving bad news any easier if you are mostly grumpy and miserable or mostly happy and joyful.
With that in mind I have some unexpected and extremely positive news to give you all. Following Eleanor’s recent MRI scan…
It’s only gone and bloody shrunk!
It is a tiny amount, a few millimetres perhaps but WOW, after 15 months of treatment and countless ‘stable’ scans I was seriously not expecting to be shown a scan where there is a visible change to the shape and enhancement of that damn tumour.
The plan is to continue and complete the chemotherapy protocol which takes us to the end of July, unless Eleanor shows any signs of toxicity (high temperatures leading to hospital admissions or requiring blood or platelet transfusions if her cells struggle to recover) Once that has finished Eleanor will have a small operation to have her portacath removed and will be scanned every 3-4 months to check for signs of growth. All we can really hope for at that stage is a long period of stability. The tumour is likely to grow at some point and then a new protocol of chemotherapy will begin to hopefully shrink or stabilise it.
Until then I will bask in the sunshine of positivity and be grateful for these small victories that give us chance to feel that there is something to be thankful for!